50 Most Offensive Movie Characters
6th Aug 2012 | 00:00
Why They're Offensive: Writer/director/star Seth MacFarlane goes for broke in his feature debut by locating his "equal opportunities offender" shtick in the figure of a fluffy child's teddy bear.
Most Offensive Moment: There's worse in the film, but the scene in the trailer where Ted suggestively thrusts against a supermarket till to impress his co-worker is gross enough.
Why They're Offensive: The Farrelly Brothers turned their PC-baiting humour to the subject of mental illness in Me, Myself & Irene, with Jim Carrey eschewing nuance in favour of barnstorming, button-pushing set-pieces.
Most Offensive Moment: A thirsty Charlie decides to have a drink... from a breastfeeding mom.
Dr Christmas Jones
Why They're Offensive: Some would say all Bond girls are offensive. But asking us to believe that Denise Richards is a hot-pants-wearing nuclear scientist is too much even for those who usually overlook the casual sexism.
Most Offensive Moment: The ending, when it becomes clear that the only reason Christmas got her name was so Bond could make a wisecrack about how many times Christmas comes a year.
Why They're Offensive:Natural Born Killers' Dad from hell is slobbish, abusive, repulsive - and all the more disconcerting for being played by comedian Rodney Dangerfield in sitcom style, complete with laugh track.
Most Offensive Moment: Ed reveals his true attitude to daughter Mallory by confirming, "I'll show her a little tenderness, after I eat. When I get up there, she won't see my face for an hour."
Why They're Offensive: A lesson in how to offend the fanboys. In the original series of Mission: Impossible, Jim Phelps was the stalwart, decent leader of the IMF. In the big-screen reboot, he's the villain.
Most Offensive Moment: Jim's motive - all he's got is "a lousy marriage, and 62 grand a year."
Why They're Offensive: Hill Valley bully-boy who remains a jerk even after Marty McFly has travelled back in time to sort him out in Back To The Future.
Most Offensive Moment: Changing the course of human history - and keeping Richard Nixon in office - with the help of a time machine and a Sports Almanac from 2015.
Why They're Offensive: Jill must be a particularly shrill and annoying character if Adam Sandler's Jack wants to run a mile. Then again, Jill is played by Adam Sandler, too.
Most Offensive Moment: When it becomes obvious that Al Pacino (yes, that Al Pacino) is in love with her, retrospectively destroying respect for one of cinema's greatest actors.
Why They're Offensive: The plot of Lady On The Water rests on ensuring that unknown author Vick Ran can write his world-changing masterpiece. So who did director M. Night Shyamalan cast as this saviour? Himself.
Most Offensive Moment: Vick meets mystical water nymph Story and immediately finds his inner voice - giving Night the confidence to ignore the outer voices telling him that his film is awful.
Why They're Offensive: Karate master whose abuse of martial arts tradition has made him a bully, and a breeder of other bullies.
Most Offensive Moment: Kreese orders his student Johnny to sweep Karate Kid Danny LaRusso's injured leg, an unethical move - but one that thankfully fails.
Carrie Bradshaw and friends
Why They're Offensive: The self-involved pursuit of casual sex and Jimmy Choos has always teetered on the edge of bad taste, but Sex And The City 2's attempts to glorify the girls by comparing their hedonism to Abu Dhabi's repressed culture plunges right in.
Most Offensive Moment: Samantha (Kim Cattrall), under arrest for having public - and therefore illegal - sex, gets on her hypocritical high horse by throwing a handful of condoms in their faces.
Why They're Offensive: Hypocritical Weyland-Yutani rep who talks a good talk before confirming all of your prejudices about corporate yes-men.
Most Offensive Moment: Releasing facehuggers from captivity and locking the doors, so the Aliens can implant their eggs into Ripley and Newt.
Why They're Offensive: Any screen rapist could justifiably make this list, but the psychotic villain of Last House On The Left remains truly disturbing forty years on.
Most Offensive Moment: Krug carves his name in victim Mari's chest before raping her.
Why They're Offensive: Disney's first (partly) live action movie hinged on the elderly slave recounting African-American folk tales. Trouble is, his depiction as a happy-go-lucky grandfather figure looks more and more out of date with each passing year, to the point where Disney has effectively banned a US DVD release.
Most Offensive Moment: The scene-setting of slaves happily marching to work, which makes Remus look deluded - or brainwashed - before we've even met him.
Why They're Offensive: David Thewlis' snarling, misanthrope in Mike Leigh's Naked bullies his way through several relationships and follows a hapless security guard around his route, heckling him the whole way.
Most Offensive Moment: The opening scene, in which Johnny's anonymous sexual encounter turns nasty. The rest of the film is coloured by our realisation of what Johnny is really like.
Why They're Offensive: The rich are literally a different breed, according to cult horror Society - a secret cabal of shape-shifting aliens feasting on America's poor.
Most Offensive Moment: We're introduced to 'shunting,' the fucked-up orgy in by which they morph and merge into a flabby mass of man-eating meat.
Why They're Offensive: It's Christmas Eve, and the miserly landlord won't give his Muppet workers or tenants a day off from their misery. Humbug!
Most Offensive Moment: As the lyrics to There Goes Mr Scrooge puts it, "He charges folks a fortune for his dark and draughty houses / Us poor folk live in misery, It's even worse for mouses."
Why They're Offensive: Never mind the eponymous American Psycho's wanton orgy of sex and violence, have you heard his CD collection? Jeez.
Most Offensive Moment: Taking an axe to Paul Allen (Jared Leto) to death while delivering a monologue on the musical merits of Huey Lewis And The News.
Why They're Offensive: A new low for Eddie Murphy, whose portrayal of Norbit's slobbish wife manages to be equally sexist and size-ist.
Most Offensive Moment: Rasputia's threat to burn love rival Kate's face with acid. Classy.
Why They're Offensive: The plot of Soul Man is this - when Mark Watson can't afford to go to college, he takes tanning pills so he can take advantage of a scholarship for African-American students. Soul Man was made in 1986.
Most Offensive Moment: Mark fails to understand racial prejudice. "This is the Cosby decade. America loves black people."
Why They're Offensive: A tough call to find somebody more revolting than the cast of Meet The Feebles, but this literally muck-raking paparazzo makes them look like paragons of virtue.
Most Offensive Moment: This reporter gets most of his scoops by sitting in a toilet, accosting his victims when they take a loo break, and then feasting on what he finds.
Why They're Offensive: No, not that Carrie. We're talking about Four Weddings And A Funeral's love interest, offensive because of the sheer gulf between the sexy, serial-shagger character Richard Curtis wrote, and Andie McDowell's wooden, listless performance.
Most Offensive Moment: "Is it raining? I hadn't noticed," says McDowell with all the passion and enthusiasm of a lettuce.
Why They're Offensive: Liz is the eponymous Bad Teacher, a gold-digger who is only in the job so she can snare wealthy substitute teacher Scott Delacorte (Justin Timberlake).
Most Offensive Moment: Stealing test answers so she can win a bonus for the best exam results… just so she can pay for a boob job.
Henry F. Potter
Why They're Offensive: Only one man - George Bailey - can stop Potter from total financial control of Bedford Falls in It's A Wonderful Life. Trouble is, in one parallel universe there is no George Bailey. Welcome to Pottersville.
Most Offensive Moment: A destitute George visits Potter asking for help. Potter (who has actually nabbed George's money) calls the police instead, the heartless swine.
Why They're Offensive: Robin has always a bone of contention amongst Batfans, and Chris O'Donnell's bland, smirking portrayal of the Caped Crusader's sidekick was instrumental into ruining the 1990s' franchise. Christopher Nolan banned the character, saying he'd leave if Robin was re-introduced; he's been good to his word.
Most Offensive Moment: The gag about "holey rusted metal" in Batman Forever. Even the 1960s series didn't stoop that low.
Why They're Offensive: The ultimate Internet nerd turns out to be the ultimate troll, as the socially awkward anti-hero of The Social Network fires off intellectually precise rudeness in all directions.
Most Offensive Moment: Zuckerberg's withering put-down to a lawyer - "You have part of my attention - you have the minimum amount. The rest of my attention is back at the offices of Facebook, where my colleagues and I are doing things that no one in this room, including and especially your clients, are intellectually or creatively capable of doing. Did I adequately answer your condescending question?"
Why They're Offensive: Misanthropic weatherman whose hatred of Punxsutawney goes into overdrive when he finds himself repeating Groundhog Day over and over again.
Most Offensive Moment: After days of research and false starts, Phil beds a local woman by pretending they were old classmates.
Why They're Offensive: There's always one Megan on a hen party - loud, loutish, lusty and having a better time than the rest of the Bridesmaids put together.
Most Offensive Moment: The post-credit sex tape, in which she gets jiggy with the Air Marshal and a submarine sandwich.
Why They're Offensive: Before Dumbledore, Michael Gambon played the thief in The Cook, The Thief, His Wife And Her Lover whose obsession with food is a weapon he wields against others.
Most Offensive Moment: After he's killed a love rival by force-feeding him pages from books, his wife (Helen Mirren) forces Albert to eat the cooked corpse.
Why They're Offensive: Known by his full name only to his parents, Bluto runs the Delta Tau Chi fraternity in National Lampoon's Animal House with a single-minded devotion to drunken debauchery that's kept him in college for seven years.
Most Offensive Moment: Impersonating a zit using a cream puff.
Why They're Offensive: As if the play of Glengarry Glen Ross wasn't rude enough, David Mamet specially wrote Alec Baldwin's character into his film adaptation in order to verbally abuse the real estate salesmen into greater productivity.
Most Offensive Moment: Asked what his name is, Blake yells, "Fuck you, that's my name!! You know why, Mister? 'Cause you drove a Hyundai to get here tonight, I drove a eighty thousand dollar BMW. That's my name!"
Why They're Offensive: She's the emotional anchor of The Godfather Part 3. Unfortunately, Francis Ford Coppola cast his non-actor daughter Sofia and watched the film (and the reputation of its predecessors) unravel around her mannered, awkward performance.
Most Offensive Moment: Mary gets shot, and Sofia gives a look of vague bemusement, as if she can't remember where she's put her car keys.
Marcello, Philippe, Michel and Ugo
Why They're Offensive: Four friends (played by art-house heroes Mastroianni, Noiret, Piccoli and Tognazzi) who hole up in a villa in La Grande Bouffe to eat themselves to death in an orgy of bad manners.
Most Offensive Moment: After taking an absolute hammering all weekend, the toilet explodes... all over the four men.
Why They're Offensive: Todd Solondz goes for the ultimate taboo in Happiness, by making Dylan Baker's suburban paedophile a faintly boring, outwardly normal family man.
Most Offensive Moment: Bill's son asks if he'd ever fucked him. "No," Dad replies. "I jerk off instead."
Why They're Offensive: Tom Green staked his claim as an auteur of outrage in Freddy Got Fingered, the story of a slacker so beyond the pale he drinks his milk straight from the cow's udder.
Most Offensive Moment: The sight of Gord swinging a newborn baby around by its umbilical cord.
Why They're Offensive: Theological scholars were quick to spot that Mel Gibson's portrayal of the Gospels in The Passion Of The Christ - in which Jewish high priest Caiaphas blackmails Pontius Pilate into crucifying Jesus - is based on an outdated, anti-Semitic reading that even the Vatican has officially denounced.
Most Offensive Moment: Caiaphas declares, "His blood is on us and on our children," a line that historically has been used to justify persecution of Jews.
Mudflap & Skids
Why They're Offensive: The comic interest in Transformers: Revenge Of The Fallen went to this pair of Autobots, whose jive talk, gold teeth and general idiocy were seemingly modelled on the worst stereotypes of African-American men. "Good clean fun," reckoned Michael Bay.
Most Offensive Moment: The pair's confession that they don't read.
Why They're Offensive: Smart-ass video store employee in Clerks who doesn't give a damn about his customers, and isn't shy about letting them know it.
Most Offensive Moment: Ordering a litany of porn movies - oh, and Happy Scrappy Hero Pup - in front of a young girl and her mother.
Why They're Offensive: Forrest a poster boy for idiocy, suggesting it's possible to sleepwalk through history, meet famous people and make the world a better place through stupidly.
Most Offensive Moment: Any time Gump's ignorance is compared favourably to girlfriend Jenny's self-destructive liberalism.
Willie T. Stokes
Why They're Offensive: Willie is a drunken, sex-mad degenerate who funds his hedonistic lifestyle by robbing department stores at Christmas disguised as the titular Bad Santa.
Most Offensive Moment: The kids queuing up to meet Santa get more than they bargained for when a sloshed Willie pisses himself.
Why They're Offensive: Only a supporting player in the original American Pie, Stifler quickly took charge with his undiluted, unashamed id.
Most Offensive Moment: A misunderstand in American Pie: The Wedding leads to Stifler having to eat dog poo at Jim and Michelle's wedding, pretending it's a tasty chocolate truffle.
Why They're Offensive: Already a fanboy target for his association with Transformers, Shia LaBeouf endeared himself to nobody (including, apparently, Harrison Ford) by playing Mutt, a rockabilly skank being groomed as Indy's sidekick and possible successor. We'll choose our own heroes, thanks.
Most Offensive Moment: Finding out that Mutt is literally Indy's (and Marion's) son. No!!!
Why They're Offensive: The wildest of the Jackass crew raised the bar for puerile, dangerous and "not to be tried at home" stuntwork.
Most Offensive Moment: The piece de resistance in Jackass 3D - Steve-O is fired into the air in a shit-filled Portaloo, and then bounces back thanks to a strategically placed bungee cord.
Why They're Offensive: Bad enough that the heroine of Twilight is a thinly veiled plea for good girls to abstain from sex before marriage. But the way Kristen Stewart plays her makes having a vampire boyfriend look like the most miserable, joyless thing in the world - even after they've shagged.
Most Offensive Moment: With Edward out of the way in New Moon, Bella flirts with having a threesome with werewolf Jacob and human loser Mike, and manages to make even that possibility look unpleasant.
Why They're Offensive: Mickey Rooney isn't the first person you'd think you cast as Audrey Hepburn's Japanese landlord in Breakfast At Tiffany's. But while we're on the subject, is there any need for Yunioshi to be such a slanty-eyed stereotype at all? Clearly not.
Most Offensive Moment: Whenever Rooney stands at the top of the stairs, screaming "Miss Go-right-ry!" at Holly.
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman
Why They're Offensive: R. Lee Ermey (a real life drill instructor) drew from experience filming Full Metal Jacket to berate Kubrick's hapless would-be Marines into shape with cinema's most inventive tongue-lashings.
Most Offensive Moment: "I bet you're the kind of guy that would fuck a person in the ass and not even have the goddamn common courtesy to give him a reach-around."
Why They're Offensive: Some people just don't know when to stop. Terry Jones' ultra-obese gourmand in Monty Python's The Meaning Of Life eats on waffer-theen mint too many and explodes over his fellow diners.
Most Offensive Moment: Mr Creosote pauses to projectile vomit into a bucket by his feet, and then carries on eating.
Why They're Offensive: Divine staked her claim as the grossest movie star in America by playing an exaggerated version of herself in John Waters' Pink Flamingos - a dementedly gross gangster hell-bent on being the "filthiest person alive."
Most Offensive Moment: Divine suffering for her art by eating a real dog turd on camera.
Why They're Offensive:Bruno and The Dictator's General Aladeen have their moments, but Sacha Baron Cohen hasn't eclipsed the almighty outrage of using a vehemently anti-Semitic Kazakhstani journalist to prise open American attitudes to the world.
Most Offensive Moment: Borat's naked fight with producer Azamat tests the gag reflex, but the cruellest gag is his escape from a Jewish B&B.
Jar Jar Binks
Why They're Offensive: Is it Jar Jar's dubious Caribbean patois? Or his gormless infantilism? Or the fact that we all walked into The Phantom Menace with sky-high hopes and George Lucas gave us this?
Most Offensive Moment: Leading the Gungan army against a horde of battle droids. Well, we say leading. What we mean is pissing around and putting his entire species' lives in the balance.
Why They're Offensive: Making original ass-to-mouth scientist Dr Heiter look calm and reasonable, obese nobody Martin decides to make his own Human Centipede without any surgical skills.
Most Offensive Moment: In one of many scenes that proved too much for the BBFC, Martin rapes the woman at the end of the centipede with barbed wire.